Now. It’s. Gone.
I find myself lisping on “s’” but that seems to be the only downside. (That and slight detachment sadness – I HAVE had the thing for more than a third of my life, after all!) Anyone wanna place bets on how long it takes for the lisp to vanish??

On the bright side I can whistle again and roll my “r’s” (Spanish). I won’t have to listen to any more crap from Dr. Methvin (dentist). I also won’t have to worry about future employment restrictions. That last one seems silly, though, when you consider that the jobs I held for most of the 11 years “forbade” tongue piercings. Seriously, most people didn’t realize the flash of silver under my tongue when I talked was something other than a permanent retainer because the barbell was so far back.
Unless I was yelling or drunk. Then you saw it.

My mouth feels both empty and squishy. I’m sure I look ridiculous, discovering that I can roll my tongue and lick my chin again without a metal rod in the way! Looking ridiculous is standard operating procedure in this girls world so no worries.

Why did I remove it? I looked at it in the mirror Monday night after I’d accidentally bit down on it while scarfing my Freebirds burrito (it just got in the way, caused a scratch in my tooth) and I thought to myself, Jen why do you keep it in?
I couldn’t think of any reason other than the fact that taking no action, i.e. removal, was easier than action.
Then I thought, are there any compelling reasons TO remove it?
1. I turn 30 in April, and good genetics keep me looking young. I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t hurt to distance myself from the college student/early twenties look.
2. I can’t think of anyone I’ve come into contact with in the last 5+ years that has one. Maybe I’m seriously behind the times and need to get a clue. (I’m NOT EVER embracing skinny jeans tho!)
3. I have this weird feeling that I’ll feel more professional with it gone. Not that anyone ELSE will think so, just Jen.

So it’s gone and I must sort out how to live without it. “New Year, New You” resolution plan has officially kicked into gear, it seems! (More to come on that)

so. Do you have any idea how much you spend on the food you eat? I do now.

I’ll admit up front, in case you don’t know anything about me and have not read anything I’ve ever written, that I seek out knowledge because I believe the purpose of life is discovery and growth. We should all be consciously, constantly seeking methods of personal improvement, acquiring knowledge, expanding awareness, writing experiences to our life journal. One area I’ve always been knowledgeable about is diet, and I feel so honored that many people utilize me as a resource. True, I’m not an expert, but it’s shocking how little the average person knows about what he consumes vs. what he should consume, how his body responds to that consumption. I do NOT force my opinions on others, but if asked I definitely take the opportunity to share!

Where was I? I totally went down a bunny trail… Oh, diet, right. I try to prepare most of my meals at home rather than eating out at restaurants and drive-thrus. Trust me, I can grub some McDonald’s fries and Guadalajara spinach enchiladas like it’s my job, but I’d always rather eat something I’ve prepared. I know what goes into it, I can make it EXACTLY how I want without worries of spit or hair incidents (the occasional pet hair may make it in, but at least I know where it came from…), and I grew up in the kitchen so I have some decent skills. I don’t care who you are or what great argument you think you have for why you may be a crappy cook; all it takes is practice and desire, just like anything else. (Well, except singing. Let’s be honest, no amount of desire or practice will make the Twins good singers, am i right?!). I also buy organic, non-GMO (genetically modified), fair-trade, etc. whenever possible. And STILL I insist… (you ready for the point?)

IT’S ALWAYS CHEAPER TO EAT AT HOME THAN IT IS TO EAT OUT.

One of the food documentaries (no worries about copyrights, i just seriously can’t remember which one) I’ve watched in the last year had an interview with a woman who said her family frequented drive-thru’s because she and her husband both worked and didn’t have time or money to feed their 2 girls. I have several points here:

• I understand there is a McDonald’s on every corner, but I also know that if she timed it, she’d realize it takes more than 10 minutes to get everyone in the car, go to the golden arches, order, pay, drive around and get whatever item they forgot to put in your bag, drive home. In 15 minutes I can make a meal for 4. It won’t be a seven-course meal, but it’ll definitely get the job done better than the burger/fries/coke.
• How much $$ is spent on gas for each trip? I know it’s pennies but I’m just sayin… if you’re poor enough to justify feeding $1 deep-fried cow lips to your child, you’re probably poor enough to consider those pennies.
• The four people spent ~$3 each, total of $12 for a meal. Consider the FACT that those high-fat and high-sugar foods have very little nutritional content; your brain still thinks you’re hungry and stores the fat away for later. It’s like those fancy restaurants that serve you miniature culinary artwork in exchange for half a paycheck, tummy growling on the way out the door. Feel like you got a meal in either case? (say no.)

Let’s talk business. I’m trying to pay down a credit card that I’ve got a balance on simply because I forget to pay it off every once in a while. (Personal info, but I swear it’s relevant. Keep reading, friend!) So I pulled all the transaction details for the last 5 months into a spreadsheet to determine where I was spending too much, what I need to avoid for a while, and figure out how much to pay off every x # of days. Anyway, I sorted everything out and discovered that the cost difference to eat at home vs. out was even larger than I’d imagined. Actually, I hadn’t expected the cost per meal at home to be so low!!! For math purposes, I’m assuming I ate 3 meals a day for 5 months, roughly 450 meals. (You know you skip lunch on certain super-hectic days, and some Saturdays you “clean house” by eating 6 leftover meals you found in the fridge that were on the cusp of expiration. That’s just me? Oh…)

• Meals obtained from a drive-thru or restaurant
  • $1,615.60 total spent
  • 20% (or 90) of my meals fell in this category
  • $17.95 average cost  per meal
• Meals obtained from a grocery store, prepared at home or packed and prepared at work
  • $1,120.04 total spent
  • 80% (or 360) of my meals fell in this category
  • $3.11 average cost  per meal

Those are just my food expense averages across 5 months. I urge you to look into how much you spend on food, and where. Most families right now are financially less secure than in years’ past, so even if you aren’t worried about WHAT you’re eating, it’s likely that you’re actively trying to cut back on HOW MUCH you spend. And there’s a good chance you can do that by adjusting your approach to food acquisition.

Okay, you’re dismissed. Go forth and discover what your consumption is costing you. I’d love to hear back from anyone/everyone who has done similar research!!! )

~j

Really? REALLY?! I have a few 1 GB thumb drives at home I can bring in if need be to ensure work can continue. (Not a bad reflection on the company, just the one or two people who should have prevented the situation…)

That was the situation that I started my day with. Trust me, it only got better. And by “better” I mean “we’re lucky I didn’t go home and start shot-gunning beers at 11am”. So after work I went with two girlfriends to Guadalajara to drink pomtini’s and talk about makeup and personal grooming for over an hour. I’m not sure if those girls I had assigned the title of “superficial bitch” to really deserved it, or if they were incredibly stressed corporate business women who identified the way to dissolve anxiety much sooner than I, but Misha, Carol and I realized tonight that it is so relaxing to talk about insignificant uncomplicated trivial bullshit like brands of mascara and methods of eyebrow grooming, not having to make a decision or get emotional or pissed off or even waste effort trying to get excited about something, when all you want to do is vegetate after spending the last 9 hours completely worked up, talking yourself down from leaping over the cube walls and strangling fellow employees, reminding yourself every 20 minutes that you are incredibly fortunate to have a job.

I challenge you to write a grammatically correct sentence as long as that last one. I always did have a propensity for “non-run-on run-on’s.” But in all honestly, I’m still enjoying this management role far more than any position I’ve held at this company so far. True, I’m working my ass off and spending twice as many hours in the office as I should be, but I’m also learning more about the areas of the business I didn’t know much about. I’m an Aries and undoubtedly I love a challenge as long as it is within reason, so I’m really enjoying identifying all the issues and figuring out how best to resolve. People keep asking if Ontario is driving me nuts yet but I keep telling them for now I’m really enjoying learning so much and knowing I’m having a huge positive impact on the region, business-wise. But I do honestly fear that the “honeymoon” will end and it’ll all start driving me bonkers. Then again, I stayed in Contract Admin for five years, so I’m pretty sure I can handle Ontario and all its Canadian craziness for quite a bit longer!

I got home and walked out to my balcony to listen to the jazz band playing down by the 8^th floor pool. There is an interior design competition amongst 3 top Houston designers who’ve “tricked out” 3 units here at One Park Place so there are a ton of people in my building touring and voting, socializing and gawking. I was watching people walk around the pool, a couple stop and look up at the balconies towering before them, four people laughing riotously by the fire pit, hearing Emily in my head screaming at me to wander down and chat with folks. The visitors, not to mention the residents, are always somebodies; well-known, well-paid, well-titled, and just waiting for me to meander on over and chat for a bit. I sit and debate with myself, knowing that it’s only 8pm and that I could grab a glass of wine and make a lap around the pool and, if I don’t find anyone worth talking to (puh-leeze!) that I could simply come back up and put on my pj’s.

It is at this point that I found myself in a moment of self-awareness. It was as if I was floating 15 feet out in front of my balcony looking at myself and seeing me, really SEEING me, and I began to smile. My fuzzy red curls blowing in the wind as I lean up against the balcony enjoying the slight breeze against my skin in the 68 degree weather. Staring at the fire and allowing my passionate nature inside to feel countered. Listening to the waterfall rush over the side of the pool in an endless and tranquil fashion and allowing my Zen side to take over, calming what little craziness remained after the drinks and Mexi-food. Understanding that people-watching from high above suited me just fine as I enjoy the dynamics of human interaction without interjecting myself into the situation. Looking up at the gorgeous display of lights from the traffic signals, car lights, and, most of all, the buildings. So I smile and turn to go inside, leaving the door cracked so as to enjoy the music (a woman is singing now), happy that I’m comfortable with who I am, if not delighted, and try to remember what I have queued up on Netflix…

And so we’re off. “What have I been up to?”

Learning to snowboard in January with girlfriends, adhering to a Vegan diet (60 days), throwing a Bridal shower for Misha, attending her Bachelorette party, successfully losing 3 inches/15 pounds to fit in my bridesmaid dress, witnessing Misha marry Jon and then sailing off with family and friends into the sunset, getting my town home rented for the next year, working 10-hour days to stay ahead of the curve at work, playing host to several overnight guests, attending a few happy hours and celebrations here and there with loved ones, and posting 1000 photos of all the activities for you lovelies to enjoy.

I know most of you are super busy and have demanding jobs, so I know you feel my pain. I knew on Day 1 of 2010 that I was in for a rocky, down-hill at warp-speed quarter. I kept telling myself, if I can just keep my feet underneath me, and my eyes on the finish line, I may just pull this off. I know I have 22 days left in the quarter but the major checkpoints are behind me. (Maybe not… I have to fit a trip to B/CS, baby shower in Dallas, girl’s weekend at my place, and a surprise birthday party in. eeek!!)

People keep asking me if I’m dating anyone. My response: “No, and I like it that way for now!”

Because seriously, where in my schedule (if you can even call it that) would I fit in movies, dinner, and hours of overanalyzation of the developing (or not) relationship, not to mention the time to actually locate a single man?!

To appease you people that are so worried about my lovelife, and rectifying the lack thereof, Jen will officially begin taking suggestions of places, people and activities through which to determine my next disaster… I mean, date… (That’s a whole other blog…) I’ll accept via email or posting. Now, stop asking!!!

Here are a few more of the little gems bouncing around in my mind. I’ll leave you with this for the day, as I prepare for Day#69, Hump Day!

*The last 3 trips to the grocery store, I kept thinking I was out of conditioner. I now have 4 bottles of conditioner but have no shampoo. If it weren’t for those 35 mini-bottles of hotel shampoo, I don’t know what I’d do. (Obviously, I’m too lazy to make a trip to CVS or H.E.B. solely for champu) So if you’ve noticed my hair looks crappier than usual, you know the reason now!

*Fun activity: Go through your pantry/fridge specifically to identify the things that have been there so long, you don’t know exactly when you bought them. Then decide how hungry you’d have to be before you’d be willing to consume them. (Or how many days post-hurricane, no electricity.) And then, leave in the pantry/fridge for that exact situation to occur because honestly, you just never know…

*”In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves.” -Buddha                                   I absolutely agree. Fun activity: point that out to the next person that gets angry with you, and suggest that be less selfish!

But. I had another “OMG” experience tonight.

I bought a Droid in December. It’s the new light of my life, my significant other, it does the things I need it to, it’s my personal assistant, my entertainment, my traffic advisor, my weather girl, everything. I love my Droid. And when I bought it, i got a $100 mail-in rebate. You give me $$$ for an excellent machine? I think I’ve died and gone to heaven!

Oh wait. I’m not in heaven. I get a notice in the mail regarding my rebate: “Thank you for participating in this promotion. Unfortunately we could not honor your request due to the following reason(s):

-Your ESN/MEID has already been associated with a previous rebate. Please call blah blah blah

Okay, so the ESN/MEID is basically the UPC code from the box, which means that what they’re saying is I’ve sent in the UPC from the box AFTER someone else already claimed the rebate for that phone. WTF?! So I call and this nice gentleman says “I’ll check your number… ah it seems your number was already used. I’ll check the validity of the rebate before… okay, I’ve determined your number was entered in error, so I’ve corrected it. Your rebate will be in the mail tomorrow. I apologize for the inconvenience.” So I’ll get my money. Cool. But here’s a few questions…

a. (I assume he’s being honest) Someone else already used my #. The rebate says I have to actually mail in the cut-out side of the box in order for this to be valid. So… the warehouse issued two UPCs for the same number? Way to track shit like it’s 1805. OR… someone sent in a fabricated phone box and you actually processed it? Wow, I’m not sure that this isn’t even dumber than the first situation.

b. (still assuming he’s being honest) Someone typed in a number wrong. This may happen. But he sure sounds like this is what he does all day every day, which leads me to assume that either i.) this DOES happen all the time and Verizon has hired blind retards as data entry personnel (wonder how much they get paid?) OR ii.) he’s so used to hearing about data discrepancies that it’s old news and he’s simply assuming the worst and it will benefit me. Sort of. God, I hope it’s the first one. At least, I think i do… I really can’t decide.

c. (assuming now that “The Man” runs Verizon like every other company in the U.S.A.) The whole rebate thing is a possibility for Verizon to not actually pay people money back by reducing the likelihood that people are diligent enough to follow the rebate process through from start to finish. If I never send in the rebate, then that’s $100 that stays in Verizon’s pocket. If I file the rebate but they send me this notice and I never bother to call, then that’s $100 that stays in Verizon’s pocket. If I file the rebate and follow up on this call and they give me some lame-ass excuse for the error and inform me that the rebate will be mailed in the morning, then the $100 can go to the customer because they’re in the top 5% of their class! Do people actually go through this process and never wonder that it’s all simply a scam to keep money with the phone company?

I wonder how many people in this country alone are employed in positions such as the gentleman I spoke with whose whole apparent purpose in life is to placate the MORE intelligent percentage of the country that actually follow through all the steps in order to get what is owed to them. And then I wonder how many people in this country are employed in positions whose sole purpose it is to screw over the less diligent, but trusting individuals who are simply trying to do what they think is best. And then I shudder to think about how many people are aware that they are employing possibly hundreds of people with the intent to scam or sell people on believing something, or at least confuse them long enough to buy into an idea, only to profit on their ignorance shortly thereafter.

I believe in karma. But I also truly wish the best for every individual on this planet. I wish we could all live as we please without impacting each other’s lives. But since we can’t, I wish everyone would be mindful of others. And I really wish that there weren’t so many greedy, soulless, money-hungry assholes out there mucking up society for those of us who simply want to earn a modest wage and get by with certain fundamental necessities.

Verizon, I want to believe this was truly a mistake but I’m just not gullible enough. I may only have 28 years under my belt, but it’s 28 solid years and I’m not a moron. I’m saddened that you’re preying on good people. (Sure, there’s some evil people in the mix that you’re screwing over as well, but I find it hard to justify what you’re doing based on that fact.) It’s like the government bailouts for banks – it’s always going to be the little guy paying for it in the end that doesn’t deserve the hardship.

Peace, y’all.

P.S. No spelling or grammar editing was done here.

I walk into my hotel room and it looks like any other hotel room. Then I open the drapes.

I was aware that the hotel is directly across from hotel property, and even after two hours I haven’t actually heard an airplane yet. A co-worker gave me the heads-up that this is the strip: meaning there are quite a few fully-nude adult venues along the road, three of which are visible from my window. (Yes, the “strip” was supposed to be a pun.) One electronic sign boasts something about winning jewelry on Friday night, which makes me wonder a few things.

1. How many men will make the decision to patronize the establishment purely for the promise of jewelry?
2. How many men will decide to give that jewelry as a gift to a significant woman? Without her knowing where it came from? Or that the man frequents that type of establishment?
3. How does one win the jewelry? “You bought the 77^th lapdance of the evening from Trixie, the single-mother in nursing school, so you win this necklace!”?

Interesting observation: Mr. Greek, the Mediterranean restaurant and lounge next door. I’ve never had awful Greek food, so if the room service offerings don’t strike my fancy I can simply bundle up and wander next door. Time to peruse the menu. What is this? Mr. Greek IS the room service? Awesome! Kinda weird, my fish and chips came with a Greek salad, but who’s complaining? I put the half of my meal I didn’t eat on the windowsill. There’s no mini-fridge but I see it isn’t necessary, since it’s below freezing outside.

Time to check the weather, see if it’s snowing outside.

Nope. No snow. Maybe tomorrow. 60% chance seems pretty likely! Do you think the Canadians will look at me funny if I just bolt out the door to play in the snow the second it starts falling? Most likely, considering the Bostonians and the Baltimoreans did. So I look like a crazy Houstonian who has only seen snow a few times in her life, what’s so bad about that? It’s accurate and I’m trying to enjoy myself! Take a picture or piss off, eh?

Previous posts share my opinion on Christmas. I’d love to have a generic holiday party, but I’ll still wind up with people giving me gifts, at least two people will expect an ornament as a party favor, and you know there’s that one pervert bachelor that thinks it’s cute to dress as Santa and make women sit on his lap. (or my little brother, perhaps ) Plus I have quite a few friends who don’t celebrate Christmas and I definitely want to invite them. Additionally, I’d hate to be totally lame and have the same common dishes, drinks, and decorations that every single other party will be offering up this December!!! I want to be original, I want my soiree to stand out in your memory as the best of the season! Why not give New Years something to measure up to?

SO…. here’s what I need from you. Ideas!

What shall we call it? Soiree Chateau.Jen * Non-Holiday Gala * Anti-Holiday Social * (I’m not a big fan of any of these, actually. Suggest away!)

When shall we do it? My suggestion is either December 5th or 12th, and I’m leaning towards the 12th.

That’s it! You know I already have a million dish, drink, and decoration ideas already brewing in my head. ~j

Pops turns 30 tomorrow!!! Happy birthday, old man!! He and Mom are in Las Vegas with his parents celebrating and I hope they’re having a great time!

I tried to explain to Emily the other day what a Bodhisattva was, but I know I didn’t succeed. Here’s a link to a site that does a better job, quite succinctly.  http://grandrants.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/10987/

I may start frequenting that site, as I feel the author’s perspective on life is much like my own. Or, at least, the perspective that I’ve been molding over the last year or two. Not sure yet if it’s a man or woman, but their personal philosophy is:

Thought: It’s gorgeous outside today! 80*, cloud cover, not humid or rainy. What am I still doing inside?

Opinion: One should not eat mac ‘n cheese without Chipotle Tabasco squirted on top.

Feeling: I never really like the holidays. People are so wrapped up in things. (That’s kind of funny, no?) Most people totally buy into the media pressure to spend, spend, spend because $$$=love. It makes me feel sad. My family gets together every week or two at my mom’s house to eat, drink, and just enjoy each other’s company. We give each other advice, a hard time, hugs, whatever we need. They know I adore them without me having to bring anything other than a bottle of wine or side dish. That’s what the holidays are supposed to be about, but fortunately we do that 20 times a year. I’ve suggested for Christmas we either don’t buy gifts for each other OR do some sort of charity thing OR we make each other gifts. (Pops laughed at the last one, which only encourages me more!) Whatever we wind up doing, I know we feel less of the pressure to purchase than others, and will assuredly get more love and compassion out of our time together than most.

As I always say after these long breaks, I’m going to try to be better going forward about posting. And as we all know, there will undoubtedly be another drop off at some point in the future. But for the time being I’ll do my best to keep you entertained with the weirdness that I encounter.

The project I was working on at work to transition our California region to the new system went off with relatively few hitches. Three months of long days, 8am-8pm, lunch and dinner on the company, no time for working out, working weekends. It’s over and it was a success. Whew. Next project? I was asked to oversee Ontario operations the week before my Cali project ended, so no time to breathe in between. And the Ontario project, so far? I’ve learned more in these 3 weeks about the billing and accounting departments than I had in the last 5 years.

Yes, I’ve been at Constellation for 5 years. It feels like ages, but at the same time I feel like I graduated a year ago and don’t have a clue where life is taking me. But when I stop and think about it, it’s probably more about where my personal life is headed and where I want to go, versus where my career is headed. Career was always a secondary concern to general happiness and I was willing to earn less if it meant getting more out of life. But it seems my career is the easiest aspect of life to control.

Are the more important aspects of life harder to control? Or is it the fact that certain aspects of life are harder to control that makes them more important? Does it matter? Nope.

Significant other happenings? Went to the Italy Expo and the Quilt Festival, both of which were fun. Misha picked out her wedding gown Saturday, and we picked out bridesmaid dresses as well. They’ll be gorgeous and I’ll post pictures of some of the dresses, obviously NOT Misha’s. I’m currently trying to convince my family NOT to buy Christmas gifts this year and I don’t know that it’s going all that well. My second suggestion was that we make our gifts, and I’m using that as leverage to push the first suggestion.

Don’t hold your breath for the next post. I promise it’s coming soon though!!

I’m really thrilled – God knows I didn’t want to be paying this high-rise rent along with my mortgage on an empty house. John changed the HAR posting to sell/rent last Monday, they looked at the house Thursday, they called John on Saturday, we signed the contract Sunday, and they move in tomorrow. Does anyone else think that’s a bit quick?? Needless to say, I had some last-minute, somewhat hectic cleaning to do. I had a bunch of “Donation” and “Recycling” bags in my garage still to tend to, as well as cleaning the entire house. So last night and tonight I spent several hours getting the place move-in-ready and I somehow pulled it off. Without the help of mom and pops, well, it would have gotten done. But I would probably have been there until midnight, and that is a really unpleasant thought! I’m home, showered, and worn out physically.

It’s weird to think that I lived in my house for almost three years. It’s one of those weird things where I feel like I’ve been living there forever and yet like I just moved in. I had just gotten the place decorated, I got nice furniture, and I up and move. It’s all good though, everything looks sooo nice in #1807! Anyway, if you haven’t been by to see my new place and you’re in the downtown area, send me a text and I’ll meet you at the door with a cold beverage!

Shout out to Pops for helping with a gimp foot, and Alex for taking my moonwalk to Mom’s, and Mom for cleaning my kitchen (despite Pops’ dirty looks) after she delivered dinner for me- the soup hit the spot! and how did you know the Acai-blueberry-pomegranate VitaminWater is the only one I like?? Many thanks! Love you all!!!